RIP Bo, 12/2/2000--2/22/2010

Never has there been a sweeter, more obedient, or more loyal dog. Bo, you made our family your own, and you will forever be a part of ours. Godspeed my friend, may the breeze in your nose be warm and full of lively scents. We love you Bo-dog. 12/2/2000--2/22/2010 RIP.

Huh?

Sister crashes brother's photo shoot in her pajamas...

6 months

Faux Pox

So it turns out the chicken pox were actually ant bites. From the ants that were infesting her bed...for a week...

Strawberry Patch

Tag Teamed

Ugh. Last night was killer. It was Mrs. Drofen's 3rd in a row at work, and frankly I envied her.

• 1755--Mrs. Drofen leaves for work.

• 1800--Baby Drofen goes down for evening nap.

• 1810--2 y/o goes into the bathtub.

• 1845--2 y/o climbs out of bathtub on her own to say she's ready to get out. (Oy.)

• 1920--Baby Drofen wakes up, hungry.

• 1930--Baby Drofen eats 4oz bottle of Mommy Milk.

• 2130--Baby Drofen is so beside himself cranky--no choice but to put him to bed, for the night hopefully.

• 2150--2 y/o goes to bed.

• 2220--Baby Drofen, very restless--get him up because he really needs to eat again.

• 2230--Baby Drofen eats another 4oz bottle of Mommy Milk.

• 2300--Attempt #1 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Not happening.

• 2330--Attempt #2 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Much rocking, back rubbing, cuddling.

• 2350--Baby Drofen drifts to sleep.

• 2355--Baby Drofen wakes up.

• 0030--Attempt #3 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Not happening.

• 0100--Attempt #4 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Much rocking, back rubbing, cuddling.

• 0130--Baby Drofen drifts to sleep.

• 0135--Take a shower.

• 0200--Fall asleep.

• 0355--2 y/o wakes up screaming--bad dream.

• 0400--Watch an episode of Miss Spider's Sunny Patch with 2 y/o.

• 0425--Attempt #1 to put 2 y/o back to bed. Not happening.

• 0430--Watch an episode of Maggie and the Ferocious Beast.

• 0500--Attempt #2 to put 2 y/o back to bed. Much book reading, back rubbing, and tear wiping.

• 0520--2 y/o drifts to sleep.

• 0521--Back to bed and precious sleep.

• 0545--Baby Drofen starts grumbling.

• 0600--Grumbling escalates to a level where possible it will wake 2 y/o asleep next door. Retrieve Baby Drofen.

• 0605--Call wife at work, irrationally blow up. Wife says, "You're on speaker phone." Hang up on wife.
  

• 0610--Baby Drofen eats 4oz bottle of Mommy Milk.

• 0630--Attempt #5 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Not happening.

• 0645--Spit bubble practice.

• 0700--Attempt #6 to put Baby Drofen back to bed. Much rocking, back rubbing, cuddling.

• 0730--Baby Drofen drifts to sleep as wife walks in door from work.
  

The Rite of Parenthood #11

Even the successful parent has to wonder if 6:45 am is the best time for supervised spit bubble practice, instead of going back to sleep after demanding to be fed. Even for a 3 month old baby.

The Rite of Parenthood #10

The successful parent knows the importance of raising a courteous and respectful child.

The successful parent realizes that it's the spirit and earnestness behind the words that matter more than the actual words.

For example, when the 2 y/o belches, and is prompted, "What do you say when you burp?", it is completely appropriate when she says in all earnestness and gravity:

"Thank you!"

In Common

Q: What do the following have in common:

• a 2 y/o drenched from armpit to knees in pee.
• a baby sized wet spot in the middle of mommy & daddy's bed.
• 2 piles of cat vomit on the bedroom carpet visible only to daddy's bare feet.
• 3 onesies in under an hour soaked in vomit or urine.

A: The beginning of Friday the 13th morning in the Drofen household.

The Rite of Parenthood #9

The successful parent realizes that certain sounds in the English language are more difficult to pronounce than others. For example, the hard "C" sound can be particularly troublesome for the 2 y/o palate. Often the child will approximate the sound as best they can from the repertoire of sounds they have already mastered. For example, a 2 y/o might substitute a hard "T" sound for a hard "C" sound.

The successful parent realizes that to avoid discouraging a child from learning, it is important to maintain a straight face when this approximation makes for unfortunate mistakes in the pronunciation of words.

Even when the 2 y/o chases the cat around the house shouting, "Here "T"itty, "T"itty, "T"itty!"

First Born Survey

Here you go mommies (and daddies thank you very much!!!) - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born. If you're a parent and you're reading this, consider yourself tagged.

Let's see how much you remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? No

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Not really. We were engaged, but I was about to break it off. We scheduled a big talk, and she told me she was pregnant. Good thing I let her go first.

3. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION? Honestly? I was kind of turned on. It's happened all three times.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? No

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 23

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? She was late, and her girlfriend was in town for the pre-wedding festivities and made her take a pregnancy test. Turns out when you stop taking your birth control pills, you're not only no longer protected, but you're also fertile as Napa Valley.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? I guess I was the 3rd to know. The next person I told was a good friend at the time.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes, I was hoping for a boy at the time, but I'm so glad she and the next one were girls.

9. DUE DATE? April 16

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? She did, but I'm pretty sure she milked it.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? She craved butterscotch pudding. She would make huge bowls of it at time. She wouldn't finish one bowl before she made the next. The frig was constantly full of it.

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Our parents who were constantly trying to do the math to see if we'd had sex before we got married.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? A girl.

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Again, at the time yes, but now no way.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? She gained about 75 lbs--which was bad because she's 5'1"

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? I don't think so. We didn't know anyone where we lived.

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? See above.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Other than a big case of the first-time-parent-stupids?

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Arlington Memorial Hospital, Arlington TX. I would not recommend it to anyone.

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? She was induced at 9 am, and delivered 12:30 pm the next day, so 27 1/2.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? I did. We made a stupid posterboard sign to put up in the window. "WOMAN IN LABOR" I felt like a really big dork. I even ran a red light just cause I could and she was shrieking in pain. She only had the cervidil in...

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Myself, and my ex mother-in-law. This was before I began hoping she'd be hit by a bus.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? It was vaginal, but I wouldn't call it a natural birth. Far from it--totally intervention laden.

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? She had many shots of demerol before they finally gave her an epidural.

25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 lbs 6 oz.

26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? March 31, 1999

27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HER? "The 9 y/o"

28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? She will be 10 at the end of next month.

The Rite of Parenthood #8

The successful parent knows that baby clothes sizing is often very subjective, and not really standardized. Which is why it's perfectly normal for a 7 week old infant to have already outgrown his newborn, AND 3 month sized footed pajamas...

...right?

The kid's in 6 month clothes and size 2 diapers!!

The Rite of Parenthood #7

The successful parent realizes there is no actual way for there to be a large angry black woman trapped in their 2y/o girl's body...

...right?

Fly

Last night the 2 y/o brought me a set of full sized fairy wings from a previous year's Halloween costume. As I helped her strap them to her back, she was literally dancing with delight.

Over and over she said, "I'm a butterfly, I'm a butterfly!"

Once she was all set, she ran to the middle of the room and strained upward with all her might. Next she tried hopping off the ground several times. Finally she returned to me, hugged my knees, and looked up at me with the most mournful puppy dog eyes you've ever seen.

Completely crestfallen she said, "Daddy, I can't fly."

Call it innocence lost, or a reality check, but I had the very real sense that her big, beautiful world got just a little bit smaller. There isn't much I wouldn't have given for her to be able, just this once, to spread her wire hanger and pantyhose wings with glitter and sequins and soar around the room.

I think we as adults forget how magical this world is when seen through the eyes of a child, yet we wonder why we're not happy.

I've posted it before, but it fits well here:

Baby's World

I wish I could take a quiet corner in the heart of my baby's very own world.

I know it has stars that talk to him, and a sky that stoops down to his face to amuse him with its silly clouds and rainbows.

Those that make believe to be dumb, and look as if they never could move, come creeping to his window with their stories and with trays crowded with bright toys.

I wish I could travel by the road that crosses baby's mind, and out beyond all bounds;

Where messengers run errands for no cause between the kingdoms of kings of no history;

Where Reason makes kites of her laws and flies them, the Truth sets Fact free from its fetters.

--Rabindranath Tagore

The Rite of Parenthood #6

The successful parent understands the importance of mimicking play as an important developmental tool. For example--the 2 y/o girl clutches her baby dolls close, much as mom does to little brother while he nurses. The successful parent also knows it is important to stifle their laughter so as not to discourage this type of play.

Even when the 2 y/o nurses her baby dolls from her belly button.

The Rite of Parenthood #5

The successful parent understands primary colors and how mixing them may create new colors. For example, bright yellow breast-milk baby poop applied liberally to a light blue onesie creates a fabulously lime green stain...

TINTINTS 1/15/2009

Heard in my house:

Baby Drofen: Fart....fart.....fart............fart...faaaaaaaaart.

Drofen: "What are you serving, carbonated breast milk?"

Mrs. Drofen: "Apparently."

The Rite of Parenthood #4

The successful parent understands that carseat safety is an important issue. However, the successful parent is also aware that cinching down a son's carseat straps in the same manner as cinching down daughters' carseat straps may result in prolonged and high pitched crying.

TINTINTS 1/8/09

Overheard in my house:

Drofen: "Do you want me to change Baby Drofen?"

Wife, puzzled: "No...why? He doesn't need it?"

Drofen: "I thought I heard him filling his diaper."

Wife: "That was just a plane flying over the house landing at the airport."

Drofen: "...oh. My mistake."