Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sitting Down On The Job

Yes, it's another bodily function blog post. What can I say? I'm male. These are the things we think about.

In a public restroom with a urinal, I'm a stand up kind of guy. But at home, I sit down. Now this topic is apparently a hot one in gender politics. I have a friend who always sat to pee because his wife asked him to. After they divorced he "reclaimed his manhood" and refused to sit to pee ever again. He also started eating meat again since they were vegetarians. We had a coming out party for him after the divorce was final at Hooters and many chicken wings were consumed. Incidentally he's stopped eating meat and is a vegetarian again, but no report on his bathroom habits.

For me it's simple, I've got two things working against me. First, I'm pretty tall, so my waist to floor distance is relatively substantial--let's not forget the acceleration due to gravity. Second, well, I'm no Hank Hill, so there's a volume quotient to add to the equation. Basically if I'm standing and urinating in a standard toilet I get a lot of back splatter, and that's just gross. If I'm wearing shorts, or worse, flip-flops and I can feel the splatter on my bare skin...ew.

So for my purposes, at home, I generally sit down. Avoids a whole mess (hehe) of trouble. I'm sure my wife appreciates it as she usually is the one that cleans the toilets around here. But it raises an interesting question. In a few years Baby Drofen is going to be potty training, so that may change things for a little while.

So, how about you or the men in your life? Up, down? A manly hover?


  1. I can't believe you posted this...lol So you won't feel so humbled by airing this news I will share a disgusting moment of my own.... I was once at a restaurant and well, I'm a girl and "you know who" had stopped by to visit me. I know they say never to flush "those things" but I did anyway. The "thing" got wedged at the bottom of the toilet and when I flushed I relaized it was one of those jet powered vacuum toilets...the combination between that and the resistance in pressure (I evidently caused) created a tidal wave of back-splashage. All I could do was turn my back and cringe as the water lept from the toilet and sprayed me. For a week I washed as if I had been contaminated with body lice. It. Was. Not. Pleasent.

  2. And to answer your original question...he stands, but he's a good shot. The other four boys....gross.

  3. The hobby stands, but he doesnt have height working against him. At 5'5" he reaches with no problem.

    I have to say that I laughed so hard while reading this that I had to wipe my eyes!

  4. @Christy: Hahah! Thanks for the story. And in answer to your unwritten question, yes, I have no shame. LOL.

    For me it's not a matter of marksmanship, cause I'm a great shot too--think sans serif script in the snow. I'm beginning to wonder if it may be a rate of flow issue. I've tried all angles of entry, all depths of toilet water. Heck even in a urinal I have to angle just right so it doesn't splash back.

    @Tiffany: I'm glad I made you giggle. Heck the day I can't enjoy a good laugh at my own expense, well...

  5. I always stand up!

    This is not the first time I've debated this topic. It boils down to this: sitting down is more civilized, but standing is more efficient and manly. If someone sits, there's potential for ridicule--but the benefits you have mentioned may be worth it.

    I say, stand up, be proud, make a mess!!!


  6. Haha, thanks for your comment Sean. I can appreciate your position, (haha!).

    Frankly if someone wanted to ridicule me for sitting down to pee I'd be the one laughing at them instead...I mean of all the available things to make fun of me for...

  7. btw, love this topic.
    my hubby is a sitter. And I have to say, I am so danged appreciative. Our bathroom does not have that male pee smell...ever. I have friends w/that problem, no matter how much they clean.

    When we were training our boy it was sitting. And when we were out, he wasn't tall enough to stand and pee anyway. As he got older, my hubby taught him the option. Luckily, at least at home, both my boys are sitters. Again, I FULLY appreciate this.

  8. +1 on sit at home and (generally) stand in public.

    And at night it's always sit since you never know when you're going to nod off again.

  9. LOL

    yeah my boyfriend is a sitter too. It was a built-in feature, not one I asked for, but I'll take it! This apartment's so tiny that if you were off even a *little*, you'd hit the sink or the tub! *barf*